The truth HURTS

I am so blessed for friends who love me enough to show me things about myself that hurt. Things that are hard to hear. Things that God's been speaking to my heart, but I've been stuffing. I'm good at stuffing. Sometimes I can't process what's going on inside me. Sometimes I don't want to. I'm sick of shattered dreams. I'm tired of trying to do everything myself. I want to let God take control, but that means I have to release control. I don't know if I can do that. I can, but I don't know how. Is all. I'm exhausted. I need sleep. God, show me what you put inside me. Show me how I can be a better friend and counselor. Show me how to love like you do. Show me your heart. Break my heart with what breaks yours.

An unexpected day off leads to.....

1. Sleeping In cuz let's be real...I needed it!! It was so nice to sleep in TWO days in a row. Working grad students don't get to sleep in a whole lot so I enjoyed it.
2. A walk out side on a GORGEOUS spring day...followed by an attempt to lift weights in front of the TV...pah hah. But it felt good to make an attempt so yeah...
3. Extra coffee and Jesus time....cause that's a good start to the day.
4. And some much needed time to work on my Community program thing-a-ma-jig!! Let's face it...I've been procrastinating.

This week was tough. Friends who are very dear to me were going through a tough time and I couldn't be there. Part of me feels like a bad friend for putting school obligations first, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. It was hard. So hence the unexpected two days off of work because my boss so graciously cleared my schedule at work and I decided to use them for some self-care and I'm SO GLAD I did.

A cute story about my neice from my mom. So, I call her my love muffin and she's 3 so I didn't think she noticed. But her mom said you're my love muffin and she said emphatically you can't call me love muffin, I'm aunt Lauri's love muffin. It melted my heart.

T-R-U-S-T --- it's such a short word but it has such big meanings. It takes awhile for someone to earn your trust. It can be shattered in an instant. It will take even longer if ever for it to be earned again. I'm trying to trust God with my life, love, my needs, my desires....my heart! It's not easy.

Spring Break Randomness....

WARNING: This blog contains very random thoughts -- this may be offensive to some people. Enter at your own risk.

I'm bored with my hair. I want something different. I've enjoyed growing it out, but miss my short hair sometimes.....it's flirty and fun. But I don't want to cut it off. Just want a funn-er version of what I got!

Spring Break is such a nice respite from the daily grind of going to school AND work. I did not go anywhere this spring break as I just wanted to stay home, get some things done, hang out with some friends, and R-E-L-A-X!! I think I've accomplished that!!

What I've done so far on Spring Break:

-- Saturday night: I went out with some girls from work.

--Sunday went to lunch with a friend, went grocery shopping with her and then relaxed.

--Monday I got to participate in Old Dominion University's physical therapy class's practicals. They needed amputees to evaluate. It was a neat-o experience and I made a new friend who's a below knee amputee. Spent the day shopping which I rarely get to do. I was excited to find a fun piece to put in my living room when I re-decorate it.

--Tuesday I had my first internship interview where I got offered a position but not sure I want to take it. It's my back-up plan. My physical therapist took me to meet another girl in the area who is an above knee amputee. She was so fun. I'm so excited about hanging out with my new friends. Met with girls from class to work on a project @ PANERA, got a massage, and finished the day by watching Avatar in 3D in my jammies with a blanket -- and YES I was in the theater. It was superb!!!!!

-- Wednesday!! Today is my favorite day of all because I am going nowhere! Stayed in bed until noon. Drinking coffee and curled up on my chair with nothing to do on this rainy day but relax and watch movies. Tonight going to hang out with my friend. We are going to gossip about boys (ahem!), eat pancakes, and knit. I can't wait!!!!!!

Then it's back to work for the rest of the week. Going to see "Vagina Monologues" this weekend!

I want to re-decorate my living room. Got to get my couch moved into this room 1st -- that should be fun.

I miss my family. I feel like I don't talk to them very much anymore. We are all busy I know. And the older get I dislike talking on the phone more. I am turning into my mother.

If you're still reading....have a fabulous rainy Wednesday. I'm going to go watch a movie BECAUSE I CAN!!! Told ya this was random. But these are [some of] my thoughts!!

It's the little things....

......that really make your day!!

The past few weeks have been rough. This semester has been hard already. I've felt behind and group projects have been stressing me out. My group turned in a huge research proposal last night and that feels so good.

I feel closer to reaching some personal goals. I got a new prosthesis in January so it's been a journey getting used to it but PT has been an amazing resource of not only learning how to walk properly but I'm making important connections with folks who can walk this journey with me but provide me w/ resources to becoming more active again!!

Now....next project......MID-TERMS!!

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like your day hits you on all sides all at the same time.

This is happening to a friend of mine today!

Thanks-giving!!

I am researching for a paper/presentation! Blah. Don't.like.research. But thankful for friends, family, and the opportunity to be a student. I wish I could go home to my family. I want the warmth that is my mom's house, the laughter of my sisters, and cuddling with my adorable neice and nephew. But for whatever reason, God has me here this year....and I CHOOSE to be thankful.

As MID-terms lOOm....

.....all I wanna do is anything but study!!

I'd rather...
1. Surf the web
2. Look @ pictures
3. Take a nap
4. Go to the beach
5. Make pumpkin bread
6. Eat said pumpkin bread
7. Talk on the phone
8. Watch TV
9. Facebook
10. Shop

I'd rather do these things because...... a). I don't know where to start with all the info and b). I just don't feel like studying....

But I'm called to be a student right now....so study I will attempt to do.