Does Jesus Care?

So yesterday I was all caught up in MY own issues, problems and concerns.

I was like does Jesus even care that I'm sad?
Does He care that I'm struggling with my internship?
Does He care that I feel overwhelmed with school and life?
Does He care that MY dreams for MY life haven't panned out?
Does He care that I'm worried about whether or not I should go on the Trauma Trip?

I wanted to skip Life Group, stay in my bed wrapped up in my blankets, and read a book! And that's pretty much exactly what I was going to do until a friend texted me that he was headed to my house to ride with me. So I was like fiiiiiiiiine (siiiiiiiiigh), I gueeeess I'll go. Which is funny because I'm usually the one who "makes" him go.

I'm so glad I went. It was just what I needed. We watched a video by Louie Giglio which gave me such great perspective. he spoke about how big God is and how capable. I found tears welling up in my eyes as He spoke about how God is right with ME, holding ME in His hands even when I'm going through trials. And he spoke about Laminin, the protein which holds our physical bodies together which looks like a cross. Coincidence? Maybe! But such a cool one.

Here is what Laminin looks like:

Cool, huh?!? So this is literally what's holding me together.

And then of course it's always nice to be around friends who make me laugh and forget about any problems I may be having. And YES Jesus does care!! He cares about the smallest thing that I care about even when it doesn't feel like it.

January Shmanuary!!

January is a month were many people experience the bluuuuues. The holidays are overrrr. Things return to "normal" again. It's still winter [at least for many of us]! Many people long for spring. Some experience S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). At the psychiatric hospital where I intern, we definitely experience an influx of patients as many people deal with an increase in depression.

And I heard that last Monday, January 17th is literally the "saddest day of the year". As I mentioned the holidays are over, it's winter, and people's holiday bills are starting to roll in. Plus it's a Monday. The sheer fact that it is a Monday is enough to put some of us over the edge some days.

How bout you? Is January a rough month for you? Do you long for the warm breezes and sunshine of spring? Are you waiting with bated breath for new growth and flowers again.... Wherever you find yourself, January is almost over and then comes February with Valentines Day (ugh) and the Superbowl (yay for wings, men in tight pants, and commericals)!!

There are a few people I love who celebrate special days in January!! I celebrate with you!

My best friend Amy and her husband Eric celebrated their
first anniversary:

My brother and his wife celebrate their 6th (I think) anniversary:



And my LOVE MUFFIN turned 4 -- I can hardly believe it myself:

Till next time,
*Lauri*

Forgive me Blogger for I have sinned....

........it's been several months since my last blog!!

At the end of a year or beginning of a new year, I usually like to take some time to reflect on the past year. I read my journal entries and see what kinds of things I struggled with. I look at the goals I set and see how many of them I reached. Sadly usually very few. I also like to see what kinds of things I prayed for or believed God for. For the past couple of years the result wasn’t very encouraging or positive. This year I kind of hit the ground running because I was busy with friends and family and starting classes. So a couple of weeks into the new year, I took a few minutes to reflect on 2010. And I loved the results. It seems I have reached a few of my goals and seen some things I have been praying for years for come to pass!!

It helps to strengthen my faith and encourages me to believe for even more! I met and got to know some new friends who seriously impacted my life. They encouraged me in my faith, challenged some long-held beliefs, and showed me another side of myself. I love getting to know new people. Making new friends. Experiencing another world outside myself. People who stretch me and cause me to re-evaluate things I think I know.

I gave up some things last year that I thought I had to have. Things I thought I wanted. I admitted that maybe....just maybe God had a better plan in mind than what I thought I wanted for my life. And as always He has been faithful and I've gained so much more than I've given up. It's beautiful. I'm still a work in progress....there is so much more I want and need to work on, but I'm also excited to see progress.

I've been challenge to choose a word or theme for what 2011 will look like...kind of like a vision and I feel like 2011 is going to be a year of Growing and Changing!! I am excited to see what that growth and change looks like.

My heart is so full.......

............of lOv3!!!!

I love seeing things I have prayed for years for coming true. I can't remember how long I have prayed for a group of single people to be friends with, enjoy life with, and grow spiritually with. I have finally found it. It feels like my heart is finally HOME!

Saturday night as I hosted my Life Group friends after church and saw the crowd of people milling about, eating snacks, making themselves at home, chattering about their week, playing games, and laughing a tear came to my eye as I realized this is what I have always wanted. These people know me. They know my flaws and they love me anyway. They encourage me when I am struggling. They pray with me when I need it. They rejoice with me when I am happy about something. They challenge me in my faith and to reach my goals. They are genuine and real. They love God and they love to have fun.

I can't believe how many wonderful things have happened to me in the 2 years and 4 months I have lived here. I have met so many wonderful people. I have faced so many of my fears and come out stronger for it. I have had so much fun. And joy. I almost have my master's degree. I've learned who my real friends are. I have become more okay with myself. I have learned something from every wonderful person I have met. I have learned to let people in. To let them see the real me. To be ok with not being ok sometimes. To sit with my unpleasant emotions. To celebrate life.

I love life!!!!! I can't wait to see what is next.

Why am I blogging???

And the obvious answer to that would be.....so I don't have to actually work.

I've got a ton of work to do and no desire (of course) to do any of it.

This week looks like:

1. Internship 3 days
2. Working one evening and Saturday morning
3. Class tonight
4. A meeting for a presentation Wed night
5. Cramming for said presentation meeting
6. The start to a new Life Group semester Thursday night
7. A bit of studying with friends on Friday which will be a highlight.
8. Hopefully something fun Friday night

There needs to be more fun incorporated into this week. It feels kind of over-whelming right now honestly. It's really hard trying to juggle it all. Work. School. Internship. Friends. Church. Sleep. Exercise. Fun. I guess this is life though. And now I'm starting to put into practice all the things I have been learning about in school and quite frankly, it's terrifying.

This week

L-O-O-M-S

I really have NOT wanted this week to start. It looks long and foreboding somehow. Probably because I don't feel good. Then I've got so much reading for one class and a paper due in the other one and I said I would work tomorrow all day on my day off where I usually would get things done.

But then I read in my devotions that I'm supposed to stay positive. I'm tryin' God I really am, but right now I just feel blah. I like being in school, I just don't like when it takes over my life. :-) It's just hard getting everything done.

Things to look forward to: (because this always brings a smile)

1. Sleeping in Thursday
2. Maybe going to Ocean City, MD on Saturday
3. Strawberry Festival Sunday
4. Memorial Day fun with friends

Ok, now I can conquer my week. Thank you Jesus for your love & encouragement.

Refreshing Breezes

After a day of studying, I decided at the last minute to go to the beach with a friend and take in a concert and orange crushes. It was such a nice evening! We ate some appetizers, drank orange crushes, and chatted with the cover-band playing in the background.

We walked down to the ocean and watched the waves crash up against the sand. It was the most beautiful and relaxing experience. I feel so blessed to live in an area where I can live 20 minutes from such beauty.

Much as the breezes and water were refreshing, I feel like some refreshing breezes are happening in my heart. I am trying to separate myself from some unhealthy behaviors and relationships and replace them with healthier behaviors and relationships. I have a long way to go, but I like the progress I'm seeing. I like the lighter feeling in my heart. I love the new friends God is bringing into my life.