Wednesday, September 30, 2009


today was hard, but God is good! i opened up to my counselor about some of my struggles today. i was honest. it was raw. it was ugly. but she didn't look at me like i was a terrible person. she smiled and said "i appreciate your honesty". sometimes it's just cathartic to have my feelings validated. to know they matter. to not feel alone in my pain. to leave my problems with someone who isn't suposed to judge me no matter what. to have an hour that i can just talk about me and my problems. and i love that i will get to do this for other people as a career. this makes me happy.

i told her that i felt weak, but the funny thing is tonight i feel stronger for having been vulnerable and faced the hard stuff head on. i've asked God for peace of mind and strength in the past week and He's given me that. do i still feel a void? absolutely. do i have hope that i am getting better. YES I DO!! i was encouraged today that i looked different and i definately feel different tonight. will i still struggle. most definately. and that's ok. it's in the struggle i realize where i do have strenghts and i can appreciate how far i've come.

thank you Jesus for struggle and for not always giving me what I want. thank you for knowing best and for picking up the pieces of me when i fall.

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