Why am I blogging???

And the obvious answer to that would be.....so I don't have to actually work.

I've got a ton of work to do and no desire (of course) to do any of it.

This week looks like:

1. Internship 3 days
2. Working one evening and Saturday morning
3. Class tonight
4. A meeting for a presentation Wed night
5. Cramming for said presentation meeting
6. The start to a new Life Group semester Thursday night
7. A bit of studying with friends on Friday which will be a highlight.
8. Hopefully something fun Friday night

There needs to be more fun incorporated into this week. It feels kind of over-whelming right now honestly. It's really hard trying to juggle it all. Work. School. Internship. Friends. Church. Sleep. Exercise. Fun. I guess this is life though. And now I'm starting to put into practice all the things I have been learning about in school and quite frankly, it's terrifying.

This week

L-O-O-M-S

I really have NOT wanted this week to start. It looks long and foreboding somehow. Probably because I don't feel good. Then I've got so much reading for one class and a paper due in the other one and I said I would work tomorrow all day on my day off where I usually would get things done.

But then I read in my devotions that I'm supposed to stay positive. I'm tryin' God I really am, but right now I just feel blah. I like being in school, I just don't like when it takes over my life. :-) It's just hard getting everything done.

Things to look forward to: (because this always brings a smile)

1. Sleeping in Thursday
2. Maybe going to Ocean City, MD on Saturday
3. Strawberry Festival Sunday
4. Memorial Day fun with friends

Ok, now I can conquer my week. Thank you Jesus for your love & encouragement.

Refreshing Breezes

After a day of studying, I decided at the last minute to go to the beach with a friend and take in a concert and orange crushes. It was such a nice evening! We ate some appetizers, drank orange crushes, and chatted with the cover-band playing in the background.

We walked down to the ocean and watched the waves crash up against the sand. It was the most beautiful and relaxing experience. I feel so blessed to live in an area where I can live 20 minutes from such beauty.

Much as the breezes and water were refreshing, I feel like some refreshing breezes are happening in my heart. I am trying to separate myself from some unhealthy behaviors and relationships and replace them with healthier behaviors and relationships. I have a long way to go, but I like the progress I'm seeing. I like the lighter feeling in my heart. I love the new friends God is bringing into my life.

And back in Summer School

My week off between semesties and with my family F-L-E-W by as I knew it would. It seemed there was one party after another. Sister's graduation followed by an evening of partying with the family. Our partying consists of eating out and enjoying an evening of go-carts and arcades at Frankie's Fun Park. My lovely niece celebrated her 6th birthday while I was there. Sunday was mom's day where all the non-moms planned, cooked, and served lunch to all the moms. I told my sister I'm glad moms only get one day off because it was alot of work. Obviously I am not a mom. But it was fun. And just when I thought I was "caked" out there was one last cake to celebrate my sister-in-laws birthday. It was a fun week of sleeping in, squishing my nieces and nephew, seeing friends, and relishing in my crazy beautiful family. I even managed to scorch my skin complete w/ 2nd degree burns. Yes, it's true....at 32 years of age I still somehow think I won't need sunscreen. I dunno...! But it was excruciatingly painful and I'm left looking like I have leprosy now. Ha.

I came to the realization (as I have at previous visits) that my home is not there anymore. I missed my friends and life here and was so happy to come back. Even to the madness of school. Because it's MY madness. MY house. MY life. And I love it.

And since I've been back here I have hit the ground r-u-n-n-i-n-g! I arrived at 3:15 am and had class @ 1:00. Definitely felt unprepared for a 7 hr stint in class. Going to sleep @ 4am when not used to it, makes one feel strange for a few days. So far, I enjoy my summer classes.

Another semester comes to a close!

And I can say I will not miss this semester one bit. It was tough. It was challenging. It was so much work. So much busy work. And projects that required working with other classmates. Watching different personalities come together to get a job done! Causing friction sometimes. Bringing emotions to the fringe. But I can honestly say it brought growth as well. And we got the job done!

And Jesus has done a work in my heart. I love it. I love that He's so patient with me. Love it. I love how He brings friends and situations in our lives that challenge us and ultimately bring us closer to Himself.

In addition to being excited about the end of a semester, I'm so so excited to go home. My family has grown so much over the last 2 years. I almost can't believe it. Things I'm excited about doing when I get home:

1. Squishing my nieces and nephew
2. Seeing my love muffin
3. Maybe seeing a friend from HS
4. Hanging with my girl Emsie
5. Eating mom's amazing food
6. Manis and Pedis with the ladies
7. Hanging out with some friends I didn't get to see in awhile
8. Visiting my church
9. Just being lazy for a week
10. Driving 7 hours! Yes I like driving!

But before these things can happen I've got to conquer one last exam, get through 3 days of work, and enjoy part of a weekend here.

I'M EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tears

Tears are healing. It's hard to cry sometimes. To let someone know you are sad enough to cry. It makes you feel vulnerable and weak. You can't pretend everything is okay when tears are rolling down your face and falling to the ground. But it also feels good to cry. It feels good to let someone know you're not okay. To let someone validate your pain.

Someone crying WITH you when you're in pain. That is the epitome of love. That validates your pain. It lets you know they truly get it. When they feel your pain. You know it's real and not imagined. That its okay to be in pain. That your pain is warranted. Thank you for crying with me, friend. Thank you for feeling my pain. For validating my hurt. For not being afraid of my pain, but for sitting with me in it. Next to extreme joy, it's one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Dear God....

I'm mad at you!

-me